Saturday 30 January 2010

Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering Heights...

I have a sudden, very real yearning to be in France right now. Everything pretty much sucks here and I'm sick of school and covering the fact that I have once again done no homework. I would much rather be in Paris or Nice. I'd even settle for the Grenoble, despite my ability to be perpetually cold. Tired of England and all its implications, I have been researching different French cities. Nantes looks really cool and has a fascinating history. It also has a university. I wonder whether I could choose to spend my year abroad there?

As we speak, I am covering my ancient copy of Wuthering Heights in post-it notes covered in scribblings. Considering I hated this book so much on first reading it, I have really grown to like it quite a lot. Of course, I am not a member of the 'we heart Heathcliff' fan club, and I can safely say I never will be. I'm pretty sure it says something about womankind that such a man can be hailed as a hearthrob. I am, however, completely on the Mr Darcy bandwagon, though I think Mr Knightly is somewhat overlooked. I really love the book Emma. My vicar once said that I reminded her of Emma, and I was not altogether offended, and secretly quite pleased. I do interfere too much when it comes to my friends and the matters of their hearts. Equally, I do not see marriage in my future, I am stubborn, and I am a bit of a snob at times...

I have a vague plan to do a post-graduate diploma in journalism. Of course, this is a long way off and I am fairly prone to changing my mind, but journalism is the only career I have ever really considered (leaving out my desire to be a spy when I was about seven). Money has never been much of a turn on for me and I genuinely feel, having recently quit my job at Morrisons, that I would rather be broke and doing something I am passionate about, than being understimulated but overpaid. Right now, I am completely skint but I have time to myself and I am really quite happy with the exception of one or two things. I won't bore you with the details.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABbe33fMrkM I have loved Damien Rice for as long as I can remember, and can't believe I have only just discovered this song. It's fairly fitting for where I am right now.

Tuesday 26 January 2010

i squirm when i look back on this...

Today, I decided I should be doing an English degree. This poses a few problems, however, as I have been accepted on a French and Spanish course. Five French and Spanish courses. It is far too late to change my mind now, so I think I will simply have to deal with the fact that instead of filling my days with Shakespeare, Joyce and Bronte, I must instead study Maupassant, Camus and Flaubert. I am excited already.

My next dilemma is which university I should go to. The main contenders, really are Warwick, Nottingham and Cardiff. Choosing is going to be tough, but I'm pretty sure I'll be happy wherever I go, and I'm beginning to see September as a brand new start. I've been at my school for six whole years. I was twelve when I started there. Awkward, nerdy and academic, I wasn't exactly cool. I made friends quickly, however, and I really have been happy there. Lately, though, I am just not motivated. I need to escape from the Midlands and root myself somewhere new. Start again somewhere new.

This blog, then, can be seen as my last creative output in my own native language. I don't mind if nobody reads it, in fact it's probably for the best. It is simply the ramblings of a teenage girl who isn't quite sure what she wants to be yet. In life, in love, in work. Maybe I'll change the world. Maybe I'll die trying, and that's okay too.

As I write, the world is in turmoil and the people of Haiti are in grief. My friends and I are at odds as to how one goes about pronouncing the name of said country. I always thought it was Hi-yee-tee, but the newsreaders seem to disagree. Hay-ee-tee seems to be the general consensus. The Americans call it Haytee. I think we can assume this is not correct. This earthquake has killed thousands and we have now come out of the week long period where survivors can expect to be found. Today, John Travolta has flown his private jet full of medical staff out to contribute to the aid effort. Brangelina have donated $1 million, and Jen is lagging behind with a mere $500,000.

The media have really shocked me with this one. So far, there is very little blame being thrown about. Haiti is a country suffering from extreme poverty, and for once, the world seems to know that blame is fruitless. No intelligence is being blamed for the lack of warning, nobody is being blamed for the complete chaos in the earthquake's aftermath. This natural disaster is seen as just that. A disaster. It is a complete tragedy that has further destroyed the lives of those living in what was already a scarred nation. It is amazing how sometimes, everyone genuinely comes together and does their best to help, and though the future may not be bright, the global community has taken a couple of steps forward.

I discovered this lady today: http://mirandajuly.com/. In case you're wondering, my password was flame.