If I ever get my arse in gear and actually do some work, I will go to university. While there, the matter of careers is bound to cross my mind, so I'm prematurely giving it some thought. There are several problems with entering the 'job world'. Firstly, I am very lazy and don't actually ever want a proper job, but I am aware that this aspiration is pretty unrealistic and one day I will have to do more to earn the food on my plate.
Having worked in Morrisons, I am no stranger to hard work. Dishing up suspect looking meat, clearing up vomit, cutting and burning and bruising myself all over the place, cleaning fish juice out of bins, being polite to impossible customers, cleaning some sort of bright pink bacteria off the dishwasher, chopping, probing, sweeping, mopping, wiping, smiling... the list is pretty much endless. Of course, there were some things that made it possible to bear it for such a long time. Some of the staff were awesome. I'm trying to think of something else but it's just not happening. Suffice to say that it wasn't all bad!
Anyway, I've been thinking about it, and I reckon there are a limited number of jobs I could do and actually be satisfied. My friend Charlotte and I always say that our greatest fear is mediocrity, but I don't think I'd mind being mediocre at a job I actually found rewarding. Unfortunately, I am not easily pleased, so here is the (somewhat limited and delusional) list of jobs I would really like to try:
- Journalism - I've always said it and will probably never quite give up on the idea. I think if I could somehow find the money to do a post-graduate diploma in journalism, I might not be all that bad. Even if I just worked for a local paper writing about jet-skiing budgies or primary school fetes, I would think that there are worse jobs.
- Translation - Is lovely. As I plan to become fluent in a couple more languages before my degree is through, I should be at least a bit desirable. It's possible that once more I would have to do a masters in translation, but this wouldn't be the end of the world. I'd get to travel and I really do rather enjoy working in foreign languages so this is a definite possibility.
- Teaching - Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to teach as such, but it's hardly the worst option. I think teaching in a sixth form college would be ace, and I'd be quite content teaching French to others, I think. Maybe...
- Politics - I love politics and I am fairly sure that my allegiance to the Labour Party will never falter. I am a realist. I know that politics is stressful and unforgiving, but I'm pretty sure I could hack it. I could be the next Harriet Harmon. Okay, maybe I'm not that much of a realist after all...
- Writer - Of books. At a push, I am probably articulate and imaginative enough to write the kind of lame beach reads we know and love. I am not arrogant enough to think I will ever have the substance to write with critical acclaim or great success. Surely though, the life of a penniless writer is much more appealing than number crunching and office parties?
- Waster - I shall do my degree, then I will do a masters, then a PhD, then I will travel, then I will do a bit of tutoring, then I will travel some more, never really getting a proper job but working when I can simply no longer afford food and a bed. This is one of the most appealing options...
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